We’re in deep winter in Mississippi, or bracing for it—days where it doesn’t climb over thirty and everything slows down, like low batteries in a robot dinosaur. It’s rarely this deeply cold, or for long. In the times it is, I find myself gearing down too. I’ll realize I’ve just been staring at the flickering yellow in the fireplace, or rubbing my hand along the dark crimson blanket on my bed for so long that the light on my phone has gone dim. (Yes, I’m spending the cold weekend mornings under the covers staring at my phone).
Teddy Bear Valentine, Brooklyn, Polaroid Land Camera with Fuji FP-100c film (2015)
My urge to create dims with the temperature. It’s work to make art—although pleasurable and exciting, it’s still work, which takes effort. Right now I can’t even sustain the effort to get up and go put on thicker socks. I may have googled things to do when it’s cold yesterday, but I didn’t need a Lifestyle Blog to tell me I could clean out a closet or go sledding or make hot chocolate. The first is just not going to happen, and the second just made me wistful, as a kid who grew up fascinated with the beautiful snowscapes in Calvin & Hobbes and awed by the tales of Scouts who rescued neighbors during blizzards depicted in Boy’s Life.
Tallahatchie County, New Year’s Day, Polaroid Spectra (2015)
Hot chocolate though, I can manage that. I’m also, of course, scrolling through old Polaroids wondering “what says ‘cold Sunday in the winter?’” I’m kind of laughing right now, because so much of it looks like it’s just freezing. Over the years I’ve learned the b&w film works much better due to the quiet light of the winter months, so I shoot that, but the rough temperatures affect the chemicals, which can lead to the film looking almost like it fogged up. Or maybe the lens is actually fogged up! What do I know.
Portrait of Dockery in Winter, Polaroid SX-70 (2019)
It also looks like I go to a lot of cemeteries in the winter? My inner Disintegration fan is pretty proud of this. I just think if it’s cold and bleak you need to double down on cold and bleak. Put on that ratty hoody1, find your one pair of gloves, go all the way in. That’s what I’m going to do! Go sledding in your heart.
Grave of Ms. Welty, Jackson, Mississippi, Polaroid 600 (2016)
I HOPE YOU make a little art if you manage it, go easy on yourself if you can’t, listen to music that sounds like deep winter (like Agalloch’s Marrow of the Spirit), maybe watch people on YouTube playing old Nintendo games (I watched someone play through Kid Icarus the other day). Whatever keeps you quietly alive before spring.
My friend Tracy says the proper spelling is hoodie, but I believe that is the formal spelling. This is the informal, suitable for winter.
I ventured out this morning only to discover that it was very cold, something that as my body has aged, has become uncomfortable. As I drove down to the end of my neighborhood, the roads were covered with a very thin layer of sleet or snow or a combination of both. I’m not sure why I felt the need to fill up my car today rather than doing it yesterday, but nevertheless, I did. I figure if we lose power, we can at least sit in the car to warm up if it becomes necessary.
As you know, while weather like we are experiencing today is not rare, it isn’t common either, especially in the Jackson area, but it certainly has an affect on all of us. In my case, I really need to get in my shop and finish some of the custom fountain pens I’m working on but just that short walk, across the grass that crackles as I take steps, seems almost impossible. As a result, I sit here in my chair, covered by a plaid blanket and browsing through Netflix. I would rather be napping but two cups of Death Wish coffee has made that impossible.
"Go sledding in your heart." A+